Perfect On Paper
by nunzilla
Summary: Hallelujah for sleeping pills and amen for a good stiff drink.
1. Sleepy California

"I'm moving." The words flew out of her mouth so quick, it was like a slap to the face.

"What?" Confusion. Hurt. Anger. Despair. All-in-one.

"My parents," she started. "They're- we're, moving to America. New York. I'm sorry."

I stood there and stared at her. Hoping it was some sick joke. Hoping she'd start laughing and say she got me, and we'd continue walking through downtown, but she just stared back at me, waiting for a reply.

"But-" A strange voice, barely audible, choked with grief, you could barely understand the words through the thickness from something like tears? I realized that it was my voice, and that I was repeating 'but', over and over, sobbing. My best friend was moving half a world away, I felt it was justified. She held me on the street, and we stood there for who knows how long, crying. I pulled away from her, regained some composure and wiped the tears from my eyes with my mittens. "I'll write."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

_-_

_December 5 2006 9:38PM_

_I lied._


	2. Meet The Pressure

_December 19, 2006 10:00AM_

_I used to think that I knew my way around this town, but I'm always getting lost since you're not around._

_-_

I had walked around downtown, holding the only letter that I'd ever send her. If I could ever find a mailbox. You'd think I'd know where everything was downtown, even if I was blindfolded and drunk. I spent most of my time down here with her, whenever we could we'd go for a walk downtown, window shop, people watch. But mostly talk. I looked up and down the street, then decided I was lost and there was no point.

"Fuck it." I threw the letter in the garbage and headed home.

_-_

"_WHAT?_"

"I said: I'm a lesbian." There, that was pretty easy. She seemed to take it well too, although she was being really quiet.

"Get out," I could barely hear her whisper it.

"Mom?"

"I want you out. Stay until you find your own place, but it shouldn't take more than two weeks."

"But.."

I didn't get to finish, and she left our apartment. No. Her apartment. How did everything go so wrong so quickly?


	3. Key Stroke

_December 26, 2006 1:05AM_

_I woke up to a phone call, right on Christmas day._

"Hello?" I answered the phone groggily, I had been up late, it was Christmas. But I wasn't up late celebrating. I was finishing packing. A sob from the other end of the phone woke me up a little quicker. "Who is this?"

"Sorry, hey Sora, it's Tai," I sat upright abruptly, fully awake now. It was almost impossible to hear what Tai was saying through the tears. "-Just got back from the hospital, she's sick Sora, she's _really _sick-"

"What? What's going on Tai?"

"She's dying," he was almost calm now. " Hikari's dying. She has pneumonia. Her lungs, they-they're filling up with fluid..even as we speak."

"Oh, Tai I-"

"If she's lucky, she'll make it past next week."

I couldn't sleep the rest of the night.


	4. Silent Films

_December 28, 2006 3:07AM_

_I have one last chance to see her. Right before I move._

I looked at all the boxes I had neatly stacked by the door. Six in total. I'd go see Hikari in the hospital, say goodbye, then put those boxes into my car. And then I'd leave, forever. Kind of like Hikari would be doing.

Don't think like that.

It had never really occured to me until just recently that I'd never had anyone close to me die, and it scared me. I'd never been to a funeral before. Nothing of the sort.

Could I handle this?


	5. Polar Opposite

_December 29, 2006 11:00PM_

_I didn't end up going. I used some lame excuse._

_I hope that she wasn't scared, lying there alone._

"Tai, I'm really sorry, I know I said I'd come see Hikari, but, you see," Lies lies lies. "My new landlord, he needs me to come up early to give him the damage deposit."

"Oh, well, it's fine Sora."

"No, Tai, I feel horrible, it's just-"

"It's fine."

I hate myself.

"I'm so sorry. I love you, and I love your sister. I wish, well, I wish it didn't end up like this, you know?"

"I know. We love you too, I'll tell Hikari you called. I'll talk to you later."

I couldn't handle seeing Hikari like that. I spent the rest of the night alone in my room, wondering what Hikari was doing, how she felt.

If she knew she was dying.

I wished I could take her place.


End file.
